By @avamadhyaksh
It’s jolly good fun to lie. But it’s even more fun when you can do it to large audience. So for all the psychopathic liars in the world, science invented Blogging. But the sad part is when I write a totally fictitious blog I don’t know if people can see the beauty of my well crafted lies. So for once, I am going to behave with great responsibility and provide a key to my blog. Just so you can soak in the mastery of my blog lies. I call it Confessions of a Chronic Psychopath Blogger.
“The idealism that made many of us quit our jobs” I earn a handsome salary of 3 lacs per month from a builder for doing nothing. My wife is a home maker but also earns a salary from a builder. But to trick volunteers, I say I have quit my job and come and they actually believe me and leave their own jobs!
“I was uncomfortable about the manner in which they were removed.” I first offered to table the resolution in the NE to remove YY and PB myself. Then I heard that popular opinion was with YY & PB.I quickly ditched AK and far from moving the resolution to remove them, I abstained from voting. That way I was sailing in both boats and could decide later which camp to join – based on who wins.
“My conscience did not allow me to keep quiet and hence I wrote that blog.” I saw in this an opportunity to become famous overnight. I have never done any work that got me publicity, have always basked in the glory of others, even lied and took credit for things I have no role in like RTI, Nagar Raj Bill, Citizens Candidates, etc. And nobody even knows that I actually got someone else to write the blog since my English isn’t so good anyway.
“The new Maharashtra and Mumbai committees constituted by the Delhi team, were functioning very well, increasing the volunteer base,” That’s a masterpiece statement as I have lied on three counts. One, Delhi has no role to play in the constitution of committees. YY told Atishi to make state committees purely on my and Subhash Ware’s advice. So we hid all the volunteer feedback and made a state committee of our choice. I took MMR, and Ware took rest of Maharashtra, and we made committees purely on the basis of taking YY loyalists. We successfully sidelined all volunteers who supported AK. Two, these committees only did one job, appoint more committees – we never did any work as volunteers were not listening to us. So we just started awarding positions to whoever was willing to take them. Three, we fudged volunteer database – we started an online registration for active volunteers (that’s right, it’s not a constitutional process but so what) and we filled it with bogus entries.
“Too much of personality driven politics is unsuitable for a healthy political culture” Someone gave me this statement and I thought I must us it in the blog and totally made up this issue. Basically I believe it should only be my personality that should be promoted.
“They confessed that while they were completely convinced about my positive role in the party” They actually told me that due to my groupism and hostility to central leadership my position in the party was untenable. They said if I was so against the party it would be best if peacefully parted ways.
“My position and respect in the party in Maharashtra and Mumbai is due to my ground work” I have never done any work on the ground – no andolan, no expose, nothing. I always come only to give media bites.
“Remember during the IAC heady days… I had led Maharashtra team with great integrity and success” I saw the IAC movement that erupted organically and shrewdly placed myself as the leader. Most Mumbai activists left the movement when I took the lead, as they knew I was from the builder lobby, but the people in Delhi were gullible so I easily fooled them and took credit for the volunteers’ work.
“In the last Delhi election, I was leading the over 5000 outstation volunteers who had come to Delhi” In both Delhi elections I went there and tried to boss over everyone so I was given tasks that interfered least with the local campaign. In the 2014 elections I had the best time, I would wake up and come to office at noon, take pictures with all outstations volunteers and post them on FB. So while everyone slogged on the streets, I became an FB celebrity.
“I have taken a role of only guiding and mentoring the Mumbai team, as per SE guidelines”. There is no constitutional role as Mentor. But since I am too lazy to travel in Maharashtra and work, and since I am too poor in caliber to work at the national level, I blackmailed the SE into creating this ridiculous position of “Mumbai Mentor” so I could give my chamchas plum positions.
“A good leader is not one who has more followers, but who can create more leaders.” This is such a bad idea. Since IAC times I have ensured that I don’t let any leadership emerge. The moment someone tries to overshadow me I start a defamation campaign on them and get rid of them. That’s why you never hear of any other names in AAP Maharashtra. But despite my best efforts Anjali and Preeti both succeeded, I thought I could control them but they were too strong, hardworking and independent. After December 2013 win, I realized this party was a gold mine and I had to get rid of them. I teamed up with YY’s friend Sanjiv Sane to oust Anjali – we would attack her every week, play on her emotions, and insult her so much that she resigned. Now I am after Preeti. I had nothing against her so I first started a campaign that she is anti muslim, that didn’t work so I told my friend Praful to say she is from BJP. That also didn’t work, so my dear friend Sanjay has manufactured many lies against her. We have been unsuccessful in driving her out but we will keep trying.
“I shall continue to take a stand whenever anything wrong is happening in the party.” Now that’s not a lie. I have to do that for survival as I really cannot work – don’t expect me to take on corrupt politicians as I am too scared, or to lead andolans as I am too lazy. The best thing to do is to complain about the party and get publicity.
“I had heard that the party makes files made against all senior members, like Amit Shah of the BJP.” That’s a brand new lie that I have manufactured. Actually I have learned from BJP to manufacture lies using photoshop, impersonating other people, hacking emails. And I use it shamelessly, and now I am blaming the party for doing it.
“Just because someone does not like my face or is influenced by conspirators does not mean that I walk out of the party to suit them.” See this party is my only claim to fame. First YY convinced me we were going to win LS and I would become a cabinet minister. That didn’t happen, so now I am aiming for corporator. In fact I see myself as Mumbai Mayor. That way I can pass builder projects and get more money from the various builders who have financed me for so many years. So yes boss, I am staying put never mind how much they hate me.
“Wrong comments to humiliate SE were made in press by some.” Isn’t this beautiful. I run to the media with my lies every time and then blame others for it.
“I sent a few messages to AK that I was willing to quit without any issue and can he speak to me, no reply.” Actually I wanted AK to tell me to leave, record the call, then blackmail him. So I made it a deal breaker – make AK call me. He didn’t fall for my ploy. He doesn’t even care if I exist since I anyway don’t contribute in any way to the party.
“To their credit, they refused to be a part of this sham exercise.” I have learned that Ware tried making a deal that he would remove me and dissolve all committees in MMR if they let him save his position as State Convenor. But the party was not interested in any deals. They said process is flawed and we must rework the whole state.
“In any case, this was an interim team, meant to create volunteers and structure for internal elections by Dec 2015” That’s why we fudged volunteer lists to ensure we could rig the elections. But sadly, Delhi saw through our false list of volunteers.
“No opinions were sought, no wide spread consultations done.” See how exquisite this lie of mine is – throughout the blog I am writing that there were so many meetings, calls, consultations with Delhi. Then I smartly say this. I am a genius.
It was time to take a stand for the third time in the past 4 years. Internally, within the party, I tried again and again, but to no avail. I had no alternative but to go public.” Here was a golden opportunity to get in front of the media. I wasted no time, just rushed to twitter and to friendly reporters who planted my stories.
“Remember that I am neither a member of Maharashtra nor Mumbai and this dissolution does not affect my position as National Executive member. I have never in my life fought for myself, but for others.” I know I can never show my face in NE. Nor does Maharashtra recognize me as I have done no work. My only hope was selling tickets in BMC and becoming a corporator as well. That’s why I am doing all this.
“I think that there should be multiple voices and dissent should be encouraged,” But not against me. That’s why I got rid of Anjali and am now after Preeti. I can defame, blackmail, threaten any dissenter against me. While I was ruling Mumbai, any volunteer who protested against my dictatorship my loyal Sundar would complain against them to the GRC and we would suspend them. We were having so much fun.
“I hear that the party does not intend fighting any elections till Punjab 2017 election, including BMC and other elections.” This is my trump card. I keep instigating volunteers that AK doesn’t want us to contest elections. Those gullible guys actually believe me! I am especially good at enrolling people who are desperate to become elected representatives, promise them tickets and then play this card with them.
“They are not “use-and-throw” material. They are our soul.” Good lines eh?
“If disciplinary action is taken, and logically it can be, I shall quit politics for now and go back to my life.” Every single Maharashtra volunteer has seen my recordings till 2013 wherein I said in 2014 I will retire and focus on spirituality. I also said if you ever see me contesting elections mujhe joota maarna – beat me with a shoe. I did a beautiful U turn in 2014 and was the first to grab a safe LS seat. I keep lying like this and I know nobody believes me except the coterie to whom I have promised tickets. But I cant help it. I confess I am a psychopath.
Do read my blogs, they are largely ghostwritten or copied. I only embellish them with my artistic lies.
(Psychopath Definition: a person afflicted with a personality disorder characterized by a tendency to commit antisocial acts and a failure to feel guilt for such acts. Also called: sociopath.)
NOTE: Views expressed are the author’s own. Janta Ka Reporter does not endorse any of the views, facts, incidents mentioned in this piece.