DISCLAIMER: I am not advocating or endorsing skipping showers. Do not clean yourself at your own risk.
It’s mid December which means it’s the winter season for half the world. And if you belong to the northern hemisphere (like me), then it might also mean that just the thought of jumping into the shower makes you want to cringe.
There could be days when you don’t want to shower and that is completely okay. Well, let me rephrase that. It is okay until ONLY YOU know that you haven’t done the deed. Tell anyone else and they will lose their mind.
To help you get away with it, The Selfie Beauty shares some simple steps to faking a shower:
Face wash, Moisturizer, Wet wipes, Eyeliner, Lipstick, Scrunchy , Smart ironed clothes to change into, Perfume and deodorant
STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS:
STEP 1: Wash you face: If you can’t wash your entire body, then at least wash those parts which are visible to the human eye.
STEP 2: Use wet wipes. Quickly wipe your underarms and your area “down there”. Do not use the same wet wipes for both the tasks.
STEP 3: Moisturize your face well. Because a face with dry skin is embarrassing. Period.
STEP 4: Apply eyeliner to your upper eyelids. Preferably opt for the winged effect as it is alluring and sultry. No one is suspicious when you are killing it with cat eyes.
STEP 5: Apply lipstick: I suggest a nice bright pink or red.
STEP 6: Do your hair: You can brush your hair and leave it open. But if your hair is oily, it’s better off tied with a scrunchy. You can also use a headband if you are into that kind of thing.
I usually opt for a cute simple bun (That’s me for you below) !
STEP 8: Change into smart clothes: Notice how I said SMART clothes. You can’t afford to look shabby when you have not showered (it’s a dead giveaway!). Pick clothes which are neat, ironed and well coordinated.
STEP 9: Smell good: Apply deodorant (on your underarms) and then spritz on your favorite perfume. Don’t go overboard with the perfume. Not only will it suffocate whoever comes close to you, it will also make it very obvious that you did not shower. Don’t try so hard.
If you are a guy, skip steps 4 and 5 and you are all set! You can’t play the no shower game for too long. Do make sure you step into the shower the very next day to avoid unpleasant experiences for both others and yourself. Know someone who needs this advice? Then share these tips with them to help them out a bit. Long live #NoShowerDecember !
(About the Author: The Selfie Beauty is an online platform run by a former television journalist who realized she likes writing on beauty and inspiration more than anything else. She also writes about unrealistic expectations of society on women. Like any other journalist, coffee and tea keeps her going.